


Butterflies

by asianlychallengedasian



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Overworking, Self depreciation, mental breakdowns, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-26 11:47:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21373636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/asianlychallengedasian/pseuds/asianlychallengedasian
Summary: Steven gets home after a long day.
Comments: 11
Kudos: 32





	Butterflies

**Author's Note:**

> This is. literally just a vent fic sorry guys. I'll come at yall with a proper fic... 
> 
> soon

Steven collapsed onto his bed and immediately stuffed his face into his pillows, screaming. He yelled such words that if the Gems were actually there for once, they’d probably ground him on the spot. The words faded out, as he sobbed drily. 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to cry. Quite the opposite, really. But- but- nothing would come  _ out _ . It was like his tear ducts had run dry, and they were in the middle of a drought. His eyes burned, and his throat went raw. It hurt. But it wasn’t a bad hurt. It was a deserved hurt.

He shouldn’t be feeling like this. Steven knew this. Steven  _ knows  _ this. There had been so much going on the the past few weeks, a whole new level of activity with Spinel settling in and renegotiating some things with the new gem. And now, that he finally had a moment to breathe… His fist clenched.

Steven knew there’s no such thing as a happily ever after. At least, he did now. Spinel opened his eyes. But could nothing ever stay  _ good for five seconds?  _ Steven knew he sounded like a spoiled brat for that, but he couldn’t deny the thought sounded enticing.

He always had to be the grown up, even before he turned thirteen, before he truly had begun to mature mentally. And even before that, he always had to tread carefully. Don’t mention your mother, don’t ask about the past. Don’t worry about… Don’t, don’t don’t. He might still have such a mentality that allowed him to appear young, but somewhere in his mind felt beyond his years in age. 

He just wanted to be the kid for once, was that too much to ask? He wanted to be coddled. He wanted to be hugged. 

But no, it was too much to ask. And honestly, Steven felt disgusted in himself for even thinking such a thing. He didn’t have to do this. He didn’t have to be like this. He knew his place, he knew he had to be this- adult figure that people can look up to. He knew he would never let people get hurt, even at his own cost. He  _ wanted  _ to do that. He didn’t want to see anyone hurt.

So why is he so conflicted over it?

Steven didn’t know.

Steven took a deep breath, coming down from his adrenaline rush which came with the screams. His heart rate slowed. He pushed himself up.

_ So, what’s next, _ he thought pensively, as if he didn’t just melt down at the thought of continuing on.  _ Did I have to meet with the diamonds today…? _

A butterfly sat on the splintered ground from Steven’s little outburst.

He didn’t even notice it as he travelled back downstairs.


End file.
